Reassurance? (Jaime)

[Matilys Lannister]

In the days before the battle of Blackwater, there had been dancing and feasting at court. Matilys Lannister had relished in it. She had danced with young lords, exchanged glances, teasing smiles. She had danced with the old lords, graciously, letting them for a moment relive their youth, charming and attentive as the pretty girls they might have danced with long ago. None of it meant anything to her. It was an entertainment, it went no further than that. She delighted in her popularity at court.

Or at least, she had done. Now there were no dances, and if there had been, she wouldn't have gone. A curious sort of emptiness had descended upon her, a formless grief that by turns made her want to weep and to rage. She did neither. She looked at her own condition with an air of detachment. She should have been glad of their victory. She should have been glad that she lived.

Instead? There was a cold fear that enveloped her, one that no reassurances could assuage. She felt herself alone, as she never had before. Her cousin Torin was lost. Was dead, likely to wash up on some shore. Here, or Dragonstone. Torin, who had always had time for her. She could picture his face so clearly. She would never look upon it again. And her dear brothers, the twins taken prisoner far off in the North, and who knew what they suffered?

By comparison, Matilys knew that she had little to complain of, but she couldn't stand feeling the way she did. She had to do something. Septa Jennia told her that she ought to pray for them all, but Matilys wondered what good being quiet and praying ever did anyone. It wasn't the sort of advice anyone would ever give to a man, was it? She began to wonder if half the problem wasn't that she felt so very overwhelmed and helpless, even now. It wasn't the way a lion ought to feel.

As the days passed, an idea took shape, and at last, it was Jaime she approached with it. He wasn't Torin, but if there was anyone who would understand enough to help her, it was Jaime. She had barely spoken with him since he had first returned to King's Landing, when she had smiled and greeted him joyously, his reappearance one happy moment during difficult times. After that, she hadn't wanted to bother him, knowing that he would need time to rest and recover. On this day, though, she spotted him in the corridors, and took her chance.

'Jaime!' She stopped him with a light touch on the arm, looked up at him hopefully, one blonde curl falling forward. 'Cousin...can I speak with you?' Her tone was pleasant, but there was a sense of urgency to it. It was clearly not just idle chatter she had in mind, but something altogether more purposeful.

[Jaime Lannister]

There had been happier times for the Lions. One of their own, a brother, a son was gone, taken from them by the forces beyond their control. No amount of money, influence or worldly power could have prevented the fact but it still made the news hard to swallow. Torin Lannister was dead. And not the kind of death they had often talked about, or like the heroes in the old tales but a smallfolks death, drowned at sea while giving chase to the coward-king Stannis Baratheon. The man was beaten and broken hiding in his little castle licking his wounds and still they had levied to push on and take his seat of power and most likely his head. Jaime knew it was the way of things, and would most likely always be the way of things but it still made it no easier to accept. While he may have teased his younger sibling often, they were still Lions, and together they were unstoppable but now…he wondered if father had even shed a tear.

The funeral arrangements were going well, but without a body something would always be missing, an empty grave on Lannister land and a stone to mark his passing all that would remain. Perhaps Tywin would have to acknowledge one of Torin’s bastards as an heir but it was unlikely. They would mourn and then carry on as was their way. The old man wouldn’t allow them any more than a moment of weakness as had always been the way with them. Even as children it had been so.

Days had passed since the news had broken and a mood of loss had settled on Kingslanding despite the Red Keep not being his home. He was a supporter of the King, had fought to defend the city against the invaders and now was lost to them all. For his part Jaime had continued to return to his duties with the Kingsguard with his usual stoic-ness. His face gave away little as to what he was thinking or felt behind his mask. He had lost a brother yes, but such was the way of things, soldiers fell all the time and nothing could change that, it had simply been Torin’s time. Gazing out of the windows that lined the corridors of the Red Keep the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard had just dismissed a servant with new orders for his men, a letter for his father and a letter to the Eyrie. Despite their problems, Lena Arryn deserved to know if she didn’t already, she was a sister by marriage, part of their family and her husband was dead. She needed to know.

A voice and a gentle touch on his arm brought him out of his day dream, the serious look on his face sliding away as a soft smile replaced it, his eyes dropped to look on the shining face of his young cousin. There was no doubt she was a beauty, with suitors from every corner of the kingdoms but still she refused to be tied down, toying with them at the balls and gatherings but never accepting any proposals. But now her normal beauty was tinged with sadness, the dark lines that ringed her eyes evidence of her sorrow for the loss of a cousin. He was ready to dismiss her and claim he was busy until he heard her voice, the sadness there obvious to anyone who knew the girl, but something else as well lay under her words. He reached down and lifted the back of her hand to his lips, kissing it lightly with a smile,

“Little Matilys…such a face should not be shadowed by grief. Speak and we will see if we cannot take some of your sorrow from you”