Tyler Tyris, Lord Of The Shadow forge

[rheagartyris]

Name:Tyler Tyris

Age:37

Place of Birth: Shadow Forge in the narrow sea

Current Place of Residence:Shadow Forge(called this because of the shadow black water that comes from deep in the island).

House: House & Overlord House House Tyris "sworn to" house beretheon of dragonstone IE stannis
he secretly still supports the targayens and knows that denerarys is a cross the narrow sea because he saw her face in his flames wile practicing with Darrius
he keep his allegiance to dany secret and lies about his allegiance to stannis by staying in his home castle and saying hes sworn to stannis

Family:
Mother: Johanna Baretheon: a Distant Bearetheon cousin
Father: Lysander Tyris
Siblings: Ageon Tyris (younger brother)
Mentor: Darrius Icebane

Appearance: Tall a thin he has blood red eyes and shiny silver hair (dyed silver hair )as are the the traits of valyrians.Tyler also has a grotesques facial scar on his left eye given to him by his own sword on the back swing

Garb: A Night black capelet with a striped black and red tunic and black breeches

Height:7ft1

Weight:178lb

Personality:Tyler has a very mixed personality a friend he would treat nice but with suspicion because once he gets to know someone really well he tell them his political ideology's which they take the king and BAM ser illyn has his head on a pike.

to stranger he is wary,untrusting and often cruelly japes about them for the same reasons as his friends are treated only this time he doesn't tell them shit

to his enemy he is cruel,malicious,dark and grimm he has know who his enemy ares since he was 20 he will give them no quarter and no mercy

Likes:

• Valerian history
  
• Learning
  
• His family
  

Dislikes:

• Usurpers
  
• Lannisters
  
• Joffery
  

Weapons: Shadowsbane a glowing (it glows because of ritual performed on it by thoros icebaneenameled red bastard sword made out of Red steel it has a dragons head carved on the pommel and skulls in graved in the blade

Armour: Tyler has a set of plate armor made out of black steel with skulls on his shoulders chest and knees and a red velvet cape

Skills: Master swordsmen
At 8 years he started martial training with his father Lysander,he honed his skills for many years become a very good swordsmen at ten and seven years he had trained enough to be considered a master swordsmen compared to Jaime lannister he is a good enough swordsmen like he could hold his own agianst him but altamutly defeated

powers of r'hllor
Tyler's maester Darrius Icebane was a red priest with the years thoros served Tyler he also taught him the mighty powers of the red priest by several flame based magic lessons .each day along with learning skill he was taught the powers of the red priest as well. at three and seven Tyler had been taught enough to be a red priest himself.Powers such as:
-setting shit on fire
-seeing the futre in the flames

Intelligent
also taught by thoros Tyler was a very listener and learned how to read and right easily but was slower on learning to heal and to do ravening over all Tyler is very intelligent by westroshi standards

Weaknesses:Boastful
Tyler was known to boast about his martial skill in tavern often drunkenly challenging men of the city watch to fight often resulting in charges of assault,

Honest
Tyler is a bad liar when trying to lie about his silvery hair to other people often results to his laughing at his own lie usually he gets chased from taverns and city's because of this[/i]

History:Tyler was born the Shadow Forge a medium sized castle in the shallow sea he was 27 at the time of Roberts rebellion .at 5 his father begain to teach how to be a solider teaching him the skill of sword fighting archery and riding but left it to his maester Darrius Icebane a red priest to teach him learning skill and other questionable things.

at age 17 Darrius was impressed with Tyler's aptitude in learning and Tyler admire thoros because of Darrius many story he was also fascinated by Darrius religion going as far as to convert to the red gods religion.

at 20 Darrius and Lysander went off with their soilders to fight for Rheagar Darrius returned but Tyler's fathers head was shortened by Robert the usurper Tyler's mother was devastated she mourned for a year before she would speak to anyone Tyler planed plotted and vowed to kill Roberts entire family line for revenge but currently he neither has the strengh nor allies to try this .(currently hes 37)

RP Sample:(Tyler talking to a city's watch man in kingslanding)
"eh you silver hair we..r.e are ye from" studderd the drunken guard
"obviously not from were you come from servant of the usurper!"yelled Tyler
"eh Jon we got a targ supporter"said the Drunk
"A targ eh we better get him him to ser illyn " said Jon a short man in a gold cloak
"you wish you could capture me i am the ghost of aerys targayen ooooooh"
"GAH RUN LADS WE Got a Ghost "said the two gold cloaks as they ran screaming out of chatayas brothel.

++OOC Info++

Player: A name or nickname we can refer you to by Tyler
Other characters played:None
Any plans in mind for the character? Personal Plot perhaps?Kill the usurpers
Do you agree to the rules:duh
Who invited you to the site?no one

[Torin Lannister]

I know you still need to do your sample RP so the app isn't finished, but I'll have to ask you use the site app that includes the template to format it properly.

[rheagartyris]

i did use the site and please tell me what i need for the rp sample

[Torin Lannister]

No, you need to use the template that includes the code. If you take a look at one of the approved apps you'll see a noticeable difference. That's because yours lacks the code to format the app. For the sample you need to do a sample RP post, so we know what its like when you RP.

[rheagartyris]

damnit i deleted the code ill get it back

[rheagartyris]

fixed it

[Torin Lannister]

This app will need a lot of fleshing out to give us more details. His personality, garb, skills, weaknesses & history all need to be fleshed out.

There are some elements of this application that are a bit OTT, such as his home being called 'The Shadow Forge,' I also notice the character appears to be a Targaryen in all but name, yet he's sworn under Stannis Baratheon? Very unlikely. Also, the people in his family section. Who are they to him? His history doesn't line up either, he's 27 yet he fought for Rhaegar Targaryen? That war wasn't recent.

I suggest you take a look at some other applications to get an idea of what we look for.

[rheagartyris]

first what dose OTT mean
he seems like a targayen because when i was making his house i wanted him to be valyrian not a targayen
and do you not see the qoutatians on sworn to

and sorry about the age im not very good with westroshi time

and fleshing out

[Torin Lannister]

Personality still needs to be fleshed out in proper paragraph form. As stated in the application template he cannot start with a Valaryion steel weapon, those need to be obtained in RP. Garb needs to be fleshed out.

I'd like to see his skills fleshed out a bit more, for instance how good is he with a sword compared to someone like Loras Tyrell or Jaime Lanniter? What can he do with his magic and how did he learn it so young?

His history also needs to be fleshed out so more, right now it raises a lot of questions that should be answered. Why is the Castle of Unknown size? Why is it called the Shadow Forge? Why does he have hair like a Targaryen (a Targaryen feature, not a Valyrian feature)? Why did he swear to Stannis after Robert's Rebellion if he hates him?

The application could also be cleaned up, right now the whole history is in bold tags & random parts are in italics, also it would benefit from being put through a spell check & grammar check.

[rheagartyris]

realy i thought silver hair wasvalyrian

[Torin Lannister]

I suggest you re-read my response above this one, as there are several elements to it you did not address.

The application still needs to be cleaned up. There's italics where there should be no italics and the history is still all bold, it would also be handy if the history was broken up into paragraph form. Currently its one big block of text. At the end it states he's 36 but his age section states he's 27. His personality is still just a list of words with one sentence on the end, please look at other applications and get an idea what we look for in the personality.

[Lena Arryn]

Hullo Tyler,

Looks like we're really close on this one. Torin asked me to give this one a look over so I can check for anything he may have missed.

It looks like most everything is good, though the family confuses me slightly.
His mother is a Baratheon, infact she is the mother of King Robert, but he hates all of Robert's family?
And his father is listed only as his favorite person.
Try this type of format

Mother: Name of mother
Father: name of father
Mentor: name of mentor
Siblings:
Siblings names listed here.

Once we get this done I think we'll have it.

[rheagartyris]

i can smell the victory

[Torin Lannister]

From the cbox:

Torin: Tyler, please review some of my previous posts to your app. You've only addressed parts.

tyler: torin i read over your reponses i already did that stuff

My responses included

What can he do with his magic?

Your application

Tylers maester Thoros Icebane was a red priest with the years thoros served Tyler he also taught him the mighty powers of the red priest by several flame based magic lessons .each day along with learning skill he was taught the powers of the red priest aswell. at three and seven Tyler had been taught enough to be a red priest himself.

Doesn't explain what he can do.

The application still needs to be cleaned up. There's italics where there should be no italics

Most of your application is now in italics, so that's not been fixed.

His history also needs to be fleshed out so more, right now it raises a lot of questions that should be answered. Why is the Castle of Unknown size?

Not explained anywhere I can see.

Not to mention I've made a point about his age, which was supposedly addressed but not fixed. His "age" section says 35, his history says 36 and his skills section says "three and seven" 37. This app really needs to be put through a decent spellcheck too, which I've also brought up.

These are just a couple of examples where you have not addressed or fixed what I ask. Please don't lie to me, I am reading this application and trying to help you get a working application in order.

[Torin Lannister]

Okay, with a spell check and a few other things the app has really been cleared up, so your closer but at the same time one or two things have become apparent that I want to make a point about.

I'll keep this brief because at this point I think we just want to get you approved.
Who is Johanna Baretheon? If she's in anyway a close relation to the main Baratheon's you'll need to clear it with the Baratheon OOC head. It should be explained in her history who she is.

In his skills, he's described as a master swordsman and quite good compared to Jaime Lannister, but you don't provide context to give us any detail. Depending on context "quite good" compared to Jaime could mean he's better or worst then Jaime. Also, I don't see anything in his history to justify him being a master swordsman, he was trained but where's his experience? What's he ever done?

In his Red Priest section, he's not having any powers. Thoros of Myr (by the way, Thoros of Myr/Thoros Icebane, you'll need a different name) used wildfire to set his sword aflame, and later blood and prayer but that was only after dragons came back into the world. He also had no understanding of how he ressurected people, it just happened, it is certainly not an ability every Red Priest can do. It would be impossible for his mentor to have taught him any "powers."

The Red Priest is also called Thoros Flame hand in his history, you'll need to fix that.

You also need to double check your dates, as Robert's Rebellion wasn't 17 years ago. Concerning his loyalty to Daenarys Targaryen, how does he know her? How did he contact her or find her to send a raven? Also if one of his weaknesses is being honest and a bad liar, how he has maintained the lie that he's loyal to Stannis all these years?